How to make peace with your Inner Critic

You heard a voice and it says you are good for nothing, you don’t deserve good things. that’s why you don’t have a good job or friends, that’s why people don’t stay around you. the good and valuable things are not for you. tell me when was the last time you had had these thoughts? and how did you respond to them?

throughout the day you talk with yourself (in your mind) more than with anyone else. your negative and doubtful thoughts keep you awake at night, it never let you sleep. especially it does not have a pause button. it just keeps running in your head just like music.

for instance, you are working on any project or you are under work pressure and you are unable to finish the work in time. in such situations, your inner critic says to you” you can’t finish your work in time, you better give up” nobody knows you can give up.

inner critic starts to appear when you use unkind words, have a negative experience, failure or rejection in such a situation your inner critic becomes louder than usual. what is criticism? it is just disagreement, you judge yourself, you criticize own faults, weaknesses or shortcomings. It is just your evolution about yourself, your strength and weakness. It completely comes from your imagination or from the Past negative experiences. you meet inner criticism at work-place, in a close relationship or even in the interviews.

having continuously negative and doubtful thoughts, sometimes makes you believe what you are not, so be conscious of these thoughts they convince you something you are not. especially in any negative situations learn what are your feeling after having a negative experience, failure or even rejection.

carefully listen to it what type of language tone or words your mind uses when it is criticizing you. it matters what type of language, tone or words you use it for yourself. so knowing the tone of your inner critic puts you in the edge. knowing about your inner critic gives you power over it.

So I would suggest you to learn the pattern of your inner critic. ASK QUESTIONS AND GIVE ANSWERS TO SELF. let’s evaluate your inner critic, HOW IT STARTS, WHEN IT STARTS, HOW LONG DOES IT RUN IN YOUR MIND, WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL TO CRITICIZE YOU. AND ESPECIALLY HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO YOUR INNER CRITIC.

After answering all these questions let’s learn how to deal with it.

after negative experience, failure or rejection your inner critics are going to be loud. it takes a while to process after any negative experience, instantly you can not stop those thoughts but you can have control over them. let them come and let them go.but do not stay in that state for long, do not let them harm you, win over you or do not let your inner critic speak the way it wants. eventually, you will learn to deal with them peacefully.

if your inner critics are loud then my friend your response should be louder and stronger. you need to positively answer your inner critic. rule these thoughts do not let them rule you or convince you something you are not.

so for instance – what would you do when you are walking on the road and somebody attacks you? you pull your all strength and fight back. you don’t use that sympathetic tone “ohh I have been attacked, I don’t know what to do. nobody had taught you how to fight. this is your inner instinct. you have been designed this way to function. that is your first response when someones attacks you (even verbally someone attacks you response this way)

likewise, fight back with your inner critic as it is going to take you surprisingly be prepared to fight back. don’t just let this inner critic rule over you. fight back and win inner critic battle in your mind.

How Gratitude positively impacts your life and well being

Gratitude reinforces happiness

Happiness is a choice it doesn’t come to you unless you chose to be happy. you need to make this choice every day. remember always You are in charge of your own happiness. so stop assuming others to be the reason of your happiness and take charge of your own happiness.

start noticing what makes you happy. shift your focus on the things which generate happiness in your life. when your focus is on things which you have that generates happiness. Being happy means to be more satisfied with life. always thinking and talking about what you are Grateful for that shifts your focus from lack and gratitude makes you feel satisfied and content.

to be happy you need to protect yourself from the negative people. Be mindful. take intentionally good care of you and most importantly hold on to happiness to be happy.

Gratitude strengthen your relationship

Appreciation is the key to build a relationship. it is an act of showing people (Partner, Family members or Friends) how thankful you are for them. letting them know how you value them. how your life positively has changed and become beautiful that generate strong emotion and strengthen your relationship.

expressing gratitude and be thankful more often strengthen your relationship and it encourages people to stay around you likewise lack of appreciation always weaken your relationship and it strongly hurts peoples feelings. To lead a healthy relationship you need to learn to appreciate more often.

Gratitude even fixes a broken relationship as it has the power to heal. gratitude words are not merely words, gratitude words come from your heart you can not express gratitude unless you mean it.

Gratitude impacts on people’s well being and it makes people feel happier and emotionally connected with you. so always try Gratitude in your life.

Gratitude makes difference in Your and someone else’s life

Appreciation makes People feel good about themselves and it makes a positive difference in their lives. when you express gratitude or appreciate what people are doing for you that makes people happier and improves your relationships with them.

If you want to make a difference in YOUR or SOMEONE else life starts appreciating. never neglect the smallest thing People do it for you. Appreciation makes a difference in your life first after someone else life.

Showing appreciation is not a difficult task. You can show your appreciation verbally or with your actions. there are many ways to show appreciation. just start noticing what people are doing it for you.

Gratitude enhances Your self-esteem

When you practice everyday gratitude. your self-esteem grows. you positively look at your abilities than inabilities and that intensifies your confidence level.

Self-esteem is your belief in your abilities. Self-esteem defines How you like, respect and value yourself. Everyone occasionally have self-doubts but it is more important how you deal with those doubts.

do you win over your doubts or do you let your doubts win over you?

Every Incident impacts positively or negatively in your life and according to that, your self-esteem develops either high or low.

You never think Yourself the way you have been created. the abilities you have been given to function.

when you complain about your inabilities and you think that you are unworthy. you always are ungrateful for the blessing you have been given that decreases your self-esteem and makes you ungrateful being.

Inner criticism strongly impacts on functioning and makes you believe that you are unworthy.

Gratitude acts like a Stress reliever

In the present circumstances, stress has become part of life. Stress effects physically mentally and emotionally. as being stressful all the time you can not live life to the fullest. Stress drains your energy and it impacts your ability to think, to process and to function in a basic way.

Gratitude generates powerful positive emotions. It pulls you out from stress. and shifts your focus from negative to positive. Expressing gratitude makes you feel less stress and let you enjoy your life more.

observe what makes you stressful. how do you react or feel when you are stressed.

practising gratitude every day 5 to 10 minutes relieve your stress and it helps you to cope up with the stressful life, events or situation. practising thankfulness makes your mind to look at good things in your life. to cope up with the street write gratitude Journal or list. whenever you are stressful try reading that really relieve your stress.

How to stop being influenced by others

positive influence is good for your well being. it uplifts your mood changes the way you think and the way you behave so having a positive influence is really important. that impacts your overall well being.

Negative influence disregards YOUR IDENTITY, THINGS WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE, YOUR DREAMS and WHAT MORE MATTERS IN YOUR LIFE and it is hard to find happiness when you are living influential life.

People influence you in many ways. you can see that impact in your lives, the way you think, the way your actions are, the career you choose, the education you take. most of the time these all are influential things.

The world needs you to be unique and come up with your unique and fresh ideas.

so how to stop being influenced by something or someone and flourish your own ideas, your own dreams, your own identity and your uniqueness.

Live your own Dreams!

It is simple to get intimidated by what other people are doing with their lives, how they thriving in their career or in their personal lives. it is usual to get sidetracked from your own dream. there is no harm to get disturbed with such thoughts. as you all desire the finest things for your lives.

So what can you do here? balance your thoughts and appreciate people for their success. you need to live your own dream instead of following someone’s dreams because they are proven or they found success in it

create your own footprints than following someone else’s footprints.

Be mindful when comparing yourself with others

when you see good personalities around comparison comes in mind real quick. your mind automatically compares to the superior or inferior People. healthy comparison is good that encourage you to be better. but unhealthy comparison always discourages you with negative self-talk. So you have to learn to manage that thin line between healthy and unhealthy comparison.

choose the right suggestion

you all tend to take advice basically for the things which are difficult to understand or sometime it is hard to find solutions. and there is no harm in taking advice from people. but when advice is completely opposite to your thoughts you end up getting more confused. everyone gives advice by their own preference. in every advices you need to find the balance and you need to choose the right things for you.

Get to know your calling

with these all influential noise, it is hard to hear your calling. you need to discover your passion and your skillset. this is going to make you happy and content with your life. even in a small manner start pursuing your calling.

Always remember why did you start something

you need to keep reminding yourself why did you start something. because with these all influences you keep forgetting what do you want from your life. when you keep remind yourself what do you want, there are fewer chances to lose a track and more chances to complete your visions. the self-reminder is always better than any reminder.

Filter always your listening

continuously listening to bad information about yourself or someone else changes your point of view towards that Person or things. listening strongly influences your mind and it has the ability to change your entire thought process. so it is important to learn to filter your listening. filtering gives you insights about what you want and this will save you from other opinions about your life.

My top 10 Tips to overcome Negativity

constantly negative thinking leads to depression and when you are depressed; you don’t find the energy to complete your daily task, you don’t feel to wake up in the morning and go to work. at workplace completing a small task takes time than usual. making a small decision or changes in life it also becomes hard when you are depressed. Depression, Negative thinking on loop and stress always drain your energy. and it distracts you from your vision.

NEGATIVE Thinking! Yes, we all have been there, you may have many reasons to feel negative, but overall not having contentment thoughts brings negativity. there are other reasons also to feel negative even some allergies, stress, hunger and sleep deprivation leads to negativity.

researchers say Negativity is contagious!

so how to protect yourself from Negativity? that is great deal

Protect yourself from Negative people or who brings negativity

Protecting yourself or standing up for yourself is not bad, negative mentality people anyhow always push you to negativity. the way they say or act around you that bring negativity. they always are ungrateful about their lives and by being around them you also start feeling ungrateful about what you have. so it is truly important to be around positive people and protect yourself from negative people.

Choose your battle wisely

sometime situation arise in life that you really need to fight, need to take stand for something. fighting for the right things is always encouraging but fighting for things which don’t add value in life that’s meaningless. it is not necessary you need to get into every battle which is going around. choose your battle carefully. fight for things which are important to you. Just don’t verbally fight with people when you are negative about something

Focus on Positivity

when you are thinking negative it’s really hard to shift your focus on Positive thinking. When I am on a loop of negative thinking. at that time I read my Gratitude Journal or think about the things which I am Grateful for. that shifts my focus to a positivity.

write your feeling

I always prefer writing when I feel depressed, negative or stressed in any situation. when I don’t know the way out and there is no one around to talk. I prefer writing my feelings, my thoughts that’s really helped me to cope up with the negative situations. when I write my feelings I clearly get to know what I feel, how strong my emotions are towards that situation. am I angry, or I am just overreacting at something. this gives me more insights on my feeling.

Going away from the Friends or Habits which don’t add value in your life and bring Negativity.

this is the hardest thing to write, but sometimes it is important to go away from the people who bring negativity. protecting yourself from negativity it is not harmful it is mindful. (but there is a process you need to follow, first observe, then inform, give a chance then repeat this process. if nothing changes…. Then think about it first, before taking any action)

you do have habits which don’t add value, but you have them from childhood. so learn to eliminate those habit and have habits which brings positivity in your life.

Self-care

when you feel low self-care is highly recommended. self-care means to meet your social and physiological needs. in simple term, self-care is an activity to take care of your Spiritual, Mental, Emotional and Physical health.

Observe Pattern

negativity and positivity both always have a pattern, observe what is your pattern what brings negativity or positivity in your life. keeping track is really important. learn the pattern, learn what are your actions and thoughts when you feel negative. your thoughts and actions should lead you to a solution than the constantly thinking about the problems.

Practice Gratitude

It is really hard to be grateful when you are negative or stressed about the situation. but when you practice gratitude you shift your focus and that makes you less negative in any stressful situation.

Go on social media detox

social media is a great medium to connect with people, Share your thoughts, your life with people. but when I feel low. I go on some days social media detoxification. This gives me time to process. time to think.

Listen somethings that quickly uplifts your mood

listen to something that cheers you up, this is important to listen to something that boosts your mood. you can listen to music or any Podcast which makes you feel more relaxed and shift your mood from negativity to positivity.

I prefer listening to the audio Bible. when I feel stress or negative and I do not have the energy to read, to focus, or to think positively. I play audio Bible and listen to the Book of Psalm this really uplift my mood, shift my thoughts and gives me positive energy.

Bonus Tips

I give myself time to process and heal after any negative situation.

after processing, I write my feelings to get to know. If I have overcome negativity or not.

Whenever I feel low, I try to go to the root cause and think about the solution instead of thinking about the problems

I try to avoid using negative words (sometimes it’s really hard but this adds positivity in my life)

Lastly, the most important I pray!

Simple steps to create balance in your life

Managing life and work balance

life gets imbalanced when you have poor work-life balance. not having set working hours, having workloads, the office tension or deadlines are always troublesome so that you feel always stressed. this happens with almost everyone and that leads to stress and conflicts in life. in that creating real balance is important and somehow it is challenging. having balance is the key to a lead stress-free life. Those who have work-life balance have more productivity in work.

How to have balanced life?

Take a break from routine

taking a break from work it is really refreshing. It is always good to take a break from your daily routine. It gives you positive energy to go on your life.

So taking a break is essential to Live the life fullest. taking a break can be anything. simply you just need to break your routine. you can define this the way you want. taking a break from work, (form my point of view, taking a break means not only going out.) taking a break means to take a break from the things which you do it for living. relax!!! if going out is break for you go out to make memories, meet new people spend time with your friends and family. but make this habit to take a break from routine.

Be productive than being busy all time

Productiveness doesn’t come overnight it requires daily practice. There are a lot of tasks every day. to complete those tasks in the time you require discipline. when you want to be productive you need to give priority to your work, you need to create and follow the system. most importantly learn to set hourly or everyday goals. but remember your goals should be managing and realistic.

one most important thing you need to learn to say No! where it needed!! for instance social media, Netflix, outing or partying. Yeah saying no it is really hard but when it comes to productivity you need to focus at the outcome.

Make to-do List

You can make to-do list this really works best making to-do list and stick around the list. complete the task in time. appreciate yourself when you finish the task in time. but don’t be so hard on you when you can’t finish the task in time. be patient with yourself and remember do not get stressed while completing the task in time.

Limit Time wasting activities

You can’t manage time as we all are blessed with 24 hours in a day so you need to learn to manage your activities not time. first of all, you need to observe your activities than learn which activities are time investing and which are time-wasting. Keeping the time track helps you in many ways. You learn your working style. Your working habits. So you will have a better sense of arranging your time

after learning about your activities slightly you start making changes. You can keep track day by day. keep doing the activities which are time investing and keep eliminate the activities which are time-wasting.

Bring changes in your habits

Changes never happen like that. Changes take time, Changing bad habit and getting into a good habit take time. it doesn’t happen quickly. It happens eventually. you need to be more patient with it. don’t give up. when you decide to change. you just take the first step toward in sometimes. it is hard to change something but not impossible to change.

remember occurring a small change also takes time but you need not give up on it because victory is another side.

Express gratitude

Expressing gratitude makes you happy and satisfied and it leads to a content life. Practising gratitude makes you focus on positive things in your life. It changes the way you look at the things Gratitude makes you feel good and It builds a good relationship with people.

Just take time to think about all positive People and things you are blessed with. In everyday, there is something to be thankful for. start noticing be thankful for every good thing around you.

Learn new skills

Learning a new skill is important every now and then. when you learn a new skill you feel better, your self-esteem gets boosted and You feel great about yourself. So always you need to learn a new skill. It could be a new language, Singing or Dancing (according to your choice)

Most importantly, It fights boredom and makes you an interesting person. You are always engaged Learning something new will make you feel happier. It is always active, It refreshes your mood and boost your confidence.

Have social life

Having a social life is important. be with people who encourages and motivates you. spend time with them. That keeps balance in life. Social life has positive impacts, it cheers you up in any stressful day. You have people around you. Where you can share your happiness and sadness. You have someone to support.

You can make friends have social activities with them. Social interaction reduces stress and it is the most important part of life.

have Healthy Lifestyle

Healthy lifestyle means physical, social and mental well-being and it includes healthy eating, physical activities, better sleep, stress management etc. it effects lifelong it manages stress, negative thinking, depression, simply healthy lifestyle means to have healthy habits.

Be physically active, exercise daily, eat a healthy diet, drink plenty of fluids, get enough sleep, eat vegetables and fruits, reduce salt and sugar intake, maintain healthy body weight.

most importantly avoids negative people in life and avoid negativity within yourself.

Surround yourself with positive people.

when you are around Positive People you get their positive energy. They inspire you to do better in your life and you feel more positive about your life.

positive people are positive thinker they complain less about life When any problem occurs in their life. they think about the solution than complain about the problem and quickly go for solutions without wasting their time and energy.

Most important when you want to be Positive you need to surround yourself with positive people. the people who motivate you, encourage you and support you.

How expressing Gratitude is important.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” – Anonymous.

A simple thank you and kind smile take a few seconds but It makes a difference on both the lives giver and taker.

What is G-R-A-T-I-T-U-D-E, Gratitude is being thankful for the things which you have, instead of complaining about what you don’t have. in simple term, Gratitude is an expression. Where you express your appreciation and be thankful for the things which you have.

Gratitude disconnects you from negative and toxic thinking, It shifts your attention toward good things. You acknowledge good in your life and You start counting your blessing.

You can be thankful for things which you are blessed with. When you start noticing your blessings you find more reason to be grateful for. there are a lot of things to be thankful for. when you spend more energy to express gratitude then you generate more happiness in your life.

Gratitude makes you more understanding, helping, compassionate and kind person. when you are grateful, you feel more connected with people. researches say that grateful people are the happiest people.

Benefits of being Grateful

  • Gratefulness boosts happiness
  • Practising gratitude makes you focus on positive things in your life
  • It unlocks the fullness
  • It makes you feel good
  • It builds a good relationship with people
  • It makes you a positive person
  • It improves your mental health and well being
  • It leads a happier life and it impacts your life positively
  • it generates positive energy

Expressing gratitude has a strong impact on life. you need to be vocal about the things which you are grateful for.

how to express Gratitude

Write a journal on Gratitude

Make journal write it down your thoughts on things which you are thankful for. writing an actual journal is important. As expressing is important than the thinking. while writing you express your thoughts of gratefulness. how you are thankful for things which you have.

When you spend time to write gratitude Journal it lowers your stress and shifts your focus from Negative to Positive things. You start giving more time and energy to positive things in your life.

Writing journal teaches you more about YOU. You understand what matters to you. What you appreciate more in your life. you start noticing, what brings more happiness in your life. that is the reason writing actual JOURNAL is important.

Today, I am Grateful For…….!

so make your own Gratitude List

Practice self gratitude

Self gratitude is showing appreciation towards self. When you start practising self gratitude you find more reasons to be thankful for and you discover that you deserve all good things. when you use kind words towards you. you heal yourself.

most of the time you are thankful for everything and everyone but you are not thankful for yourself. you never show appreciation to yourself, most of the time you spend your time and energy to show appreciation to people around you.

you can show appreciation by every small or big achievement you need to celebrate you. when you celebrate your accomplishments and your achievements. that motivates you to keep going.

Expressing Gratitude to People

whenever someone does anything for you and you express gratefulness to that person that really motivate people to be around you.

expressing gratitude is an act of showing other people how thankful you are for them. letting people know how you value them and How they are important in your life.

Many people feel unappreciated when their Partner, friends, family or co-workers are less appreciating. so try to be grateful for the smallest things which people are doing it for you(even if that is their work). try to be appreciative and be vocal towards People and things which are important to you. Appreciate them with your kind words people who are around you. That really brings happiness in your life.

Gratitude through volunteering

The more you give the happier you feel. Volunteering is a significant way to show gratitude. you express gratitude by giving something to the world in return. you take a small step to make the world a better place. supporting and helping others help you to protect your mental health. Helping other people makes differences in you own life.

There are different types of volunteering First, you need to choose a cause which you are passionate about and be helpful for someone else.

Good deeds always make you feel better and make you a better human being.

Using Gentle words

Words have a strong influence on life. they are so powerful they can build up or tear you down. they can encourage or discourage. They also impact on speaker as well as listeners.

Gentle word satisfy and heal the soul. they mend a broken bond. they have the compassion to heal the world. they are really powerful. they bring happiness into speaker and listener lives. when you use Gentle words your own soul nourish

When you say gentle words to yourself or to someone else that changes everything. It encourages someone to be better. It positively impacts people lives.